Mid February I manage to hitch a ride in the ram raid's van to see my brother in Val d'isere. He lived there and was in need of some sisterly support so I begged for a lift from the boys as they were playing there. Now some unscrupulous people out there accused me of mixed motives and that spending several hours in a van with 3 musicians was the driving force behind my request rather than being a supportive, loving, caring sister. Being a supportive, loving, caring sister I will wholeheartedly deny these vicious rumours and say my decision was 98% based on wanting to see my brother.
When I got to the agreed meeting place and saw said van I wasn't completely convinced it would make it all the way to Val and back. I was slightly taken aback when the bassist opened the door to reveal several speakers with blankets over them and said 'so whose going in the back then?'
'no fucking way, i would rather walk to val' was the thought that ran through my mind (I was wearing a skirt at the time and there was a huge potential that I would accidentally reveal more than I was intending to. It is impossible to be Lady like in a skirt sat on a speaker in the back of a transit van!) (especially for me as I struggle at the best of time)
The singer did make a comment about me and the bassist going in the back under the duvet together. He quickly realised that I didn't find this comment either funny or appropriate. The bassist got in the back. I got in the front.
The trip down turned out to be rather uneventful. I read my book. They played distinctly average music on the van stereo. I peppered their conversation with interesting facts. Such as 'did you know that piste bashers have the highest suicide rate of any job in france' and 'all roofs in Meribel have to be exactly the same angle by law' I am, as you may have guest full of interesting facts, not all of them about history. The band were fascinated by my facts and my talent for factual recall.
After driving all the way to Val at approximately 8 miles an hour we got there and I helped unpack their van. I loved packing and unpacking their van because of a life long desire I have had to get a job as a roadie. I think they were always a bit worried I would drop their stuff.
My brother turned up. He was rather impressed that I knew people as cool as the band. He doesn't believe I'm as cool as I am. We had a heart to heart. I was a supportive and loving sister. I went and helped him pick up his stuff from the flat he shared with 2 other kps. It was the size of a kitchen table.
They were almost finishing the set when we came back. Their one and only topic of conversation as they packed up was food and how to get some. I had half a loaf of bread and some pate in my handbag (it is the kind of thing I carry around just in case of emergencies) and they seemed to inhale it. It was then I realised that my feelings had become rather motherly and I just wanted to feed them. They struck me as boys who needed a bit of looking after.
We got back in the van, myself my brother and the singer in the front and the drummer and the bassist on the speakers in the back. Everyone else in the van promptly feel asleep. Now I usually fall asleep in all forms of transport within five minutes but was fully aware that if I did I would inevitably fall asleep with my mouth open and potentially snore. I concentrated very very hard on not falling asleep so spent most of the journey home talking about history.
Several weeks later I had to go back to England for a few days for a job interview. I asked everyone if they would like anything bringing back. 'No' said the bassist, 'giant Parma violets' said the drummer, 'Aussie three minute miracle hair conditioner' the singer whispered in my ear. 'What!' I said, 'but your not a girl'
'I err used to go out with a hairdresser' ('thats why you have such lovely shiny curly hair' I thought)
'Please don't tell anyone that what I want though' he said.
'You are so fucking rock and roll' I said before going off and telling everyone because it was funny.
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