I didn't, as a rule, like going out the night before I was on the early shift. I am way too old to cope with going out and then getting up at 6am to go to work and the thought of being hungover at work is horrible. I did break this rule however (more and more as the season drew to a close) especially on a Monday night. Monday night was Ram Raid night at La Poste, however La Poste was so expensive I usually only had a couple of glasses of wine and then was home in bed for half one.
For some reason one Monday in March I had a couple of glasses more than usual, I was by no means drunk, but this combined with the lack of sleep meant that when I walked into work the next morning I wasn't feeling at my best.
When I got in I was greeted by some rather worried members of staff, 'H1 hasn't come home. She went out with chef and the other assistant chef, JP, and they had an argument and she hasn't come home and no one can get in contact with her'.
Now it must be admitted that I am a bit of a worrier, 'oh my god she could be dead somewhere in the snow or kidnapped and being kept as a sex slave by some perverted Frenchman' was what instantly went through my mind as I rushed into the kitchen to find chef and find out what was going on.
What I was greeted to was two smiling assistant chefs, both preparing for breakfast, still in their normal clothes and singing really loudly,
'hello beautiful' chef said.
'Oh my god they are high as kites' I thought, 'where's H1' I said.
'we were in Dicks, and she went to the toilet, and never came back'
'Give me her phone number, I will try and call her...and why are you wearing sunglasses JP?'
'Because I just feel like it' JP replied, acting shocked that I would think there was something odd about a chef wearing sunglasses in the kitchen at seven in the morning'
'Take them off'
'No'
'Take them off' I repeated somewhat louder that the first time
He removed them for a millisecond before putting them back on - 'I can't, I just can't' he begged while chef was wetting himself with laughter and dancing about.
I stood and took stock of the situation I so unwillingly suddenly found myself in. I had a missing HA who should be at work and two chefs who were completely and utterly off their faces. As worried as I was about H1 and her safety the two chefs were quite happily getting on with cooking breakfast. And actually I couldn't fault their cooking performance that morning. Except for having to frequently remind them to turn the music down and stop singing because the guests could hear them in the restaurant they were actually rather well behaved.
I left a worried message on H1's answer machine saying that if she didn't turn up soon I would have to call the police.
She did turn up. She appeared in the kitchen at 8am in her uniform and looking a complete mess. She absolutely refused to tell me where she had spent the night. I sent her back to wash her face, do her make up again and brush her teeth.
I couldn't allow her in front of the guests looking the way she did so she spent the morning in the kitchen refilling things and putting up with the chefs teasing her because they knew she was going to be at work all day for being late, when they had in fact arrived at work early.
The chefs remained high all morning and they could not control what they were saying. I learnt a lot about those two boys that morning. And they frequently told me how much they loved me and asked me if I was mad at them. At this point I stopped being incredibly stressed out and began to find the situation rather funny. After breakfast was finished I walked into the kitchen and they had cooked me a huge breakfast, 'Its just for you, no one else gets one, its cos your an ace manager' chef said (now he never said that sober!)
A few days later I went for a job interview in London, 'what is the most difficult situation with staff have you ever had to deal with' was one of the questions. After a brief explanation of this story they gave me the job. I found out later that they had decided there was nothing I couldn't cope with.
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