The week the geography teacher came to stay.

The childcare manager had gone on about his friend coming to stay for months. In fact he had first brought up the subject on the first day we moved in together. The geography teacher was coming at February half term (obviously the school holidays). By that time we had all settled into the routine of life in the mountains. We knew Meribel like the back of our hands.
The closer we got to the week of his arrival the more excited the childcare manager got. And he pretended he wasn't excited but he was. He was the most excited I had seen him since he found out the rep was coming to live with us.

Sunday night was Toss the Boss night at Jack's, a bar in town. Toss the boss is legendary in Meribel. On a Sunday night every Seasonaire in Meribel packs themselves into Jack's, where, for every round you buy, you roll a dice with the owner. If you score higher, you get the round free. The cynic in me says that this just leads to queuing up for your drink much longer than you ordinarily would have done. And that as half of Meribel is there, the queue for the toilet is astronomical. I am that cynical about it because I never won. However, more often that not, I was so knackered from transfer day I couldn't muster the energy to go. For me, transfer day often meant my alarm went off at 4.30am and I worked right through till 7pm. This did not usually put me in the party mood and when most people were 'Tossing the Boss', I was at home in my PJs.

The Sunday before the arrival of the geography teacher, the childcare manager, the rep and myself were sat in our living room. We were so tired from a knackering transfer day that we were sitting motionless, preserving the tiny bit of energy that we had left so we would be able to make it from the living room to the bedroom. The rep has sweets. She always had sweets.
The childcare manager turned to us both and said 'next week I have to go to Toss the Boss'. He went on to explain that as his friend was coming to stay, he would have to take him out and show him a good time. And that would involve toss the boss. And going out after transfer day. He tried to stir himself up, encourage himself like an athlete before a race, 'I can do it, I can!', and then a little less energetically 'I must, I have too'. Even the thought was making my brain ache, so I went to bed.

The next week rolled around. The child care manger was over excited. I didn't meet the geography teacher on the Saturday he arrived. When I got home from work he was already fast asleep on the sofa. He was still asleep when I went to work at 6 am the next morning. I was on a split shift and managed to have a nice nap in the middle of the day. I was therefore not totally desperate to pass out and I went to Toss the Boss.

It was full of people. And the child cre manager and the geography teacher we all but looking longingly into each others eyes. There was no doubt it was a beautiful bromance.

I didn't win any rounds at Toss the Boss. I went home. Knackered.

It was nice having the geography teacher in the house. He was usually there when I came home from work. And he was always up for a nice chat. And he was fully prepared to gang up on the child care manager, which was always good fun.

Along came wednesday après and luckily I had the afternoon off. I had gone along to Meribar to write some letters and have a pizza. And to get a good table to watch The Ram Raid (not written about them in a while, but they were always there). I had bigged up The Ram Raid to the geography teacher and I could tell he was intrigued.

About fifteen seconds after everyone arrived and interrupted my peaceful perving, the child care manager suggested buying a bottle of toffee vodka. Quite early on he had figured out that us all putting in a couple of euros meant we could buy bottles rather than single shots, and this made it much cheaper. The child care manager's insistence on shots on a Wednesday was almost legendary, and had, amongst other things, led to certain members of staff stripping off and going swimming. It also meant that most people were in bed, wasted, by about 8pm. There were many occasions when I came home after work on a Wednesday and there was half a bottle of toffee vodka on the kitchen work surface and a snoring child care manager asleep with the door open.

So the child care manager managed to squeeze enough money out of us to buy two bottles of toffee vodka and a bottle of apple vodka.

The next hour and a half consisted of drinking shots and me telling people to 'bloody well sit down I can't see The Ram Raid'! This might or might not have got more and more aggressive as the liquid was drained.

When the band was finished I decided to go find food. I quickly decided I couldn't be bothered waiting and should instead go home and make pasta.

When I got home (about 8pm) the child care manager was fast asleep and the geography teacher was making his bed up in the living room.

I considered launching into a conversation about how history was way better than geography (I do like a good argument, especially after a few drinks) but instead put my pjs on (I am at most attractive when in pjs) and made a hot water bottle.

I was a little taken aback by the level of shock that radiated off the geography teacher when said hot water bottle was produced. He was quite rude about it. Comments such as 'no one under 60 has a hot water bottle' and 'they are just for old ladies who have lost the circulation in their legs' were banded about. I told him to sod off. And that my hot water bottle was the only thing that kept me warm at night. I then realised I was drifting in to dangerously embarrassing territory and that I had two options; either go to bed, or try to drunkenly come on to the geography teacher while wearing horrific pyjamas and holding a teddy bear shaped hot water bottle.

I took the hot water bottle to bed. Much (I expect) to the relief of the geography teacher.