The nomination forms went out in beginning of shut down week. Nominations for the end of season awards. End of season awards are, as far as I can tell, are standard in most hotels. But our categories included;
1. Best looking girl
2. Best looking boy
3. Most appropriate nick name
4. Best boobs
5. Biggest piss head
6. Best male skier/ boarder
7. Best female skier/ boarder
8. Best front of house staff
9. Best back of house staff
10. Best kept secret
So the three of us, the rep, the fashion designer and I, were sat in our room staring at the identical pieces of paper we all held in our hands,
'But I don't know any secrets' Said the rep.
'Neither do I' I replied, 'we will have a think and fill in the rest'.
Ten minutes later,
'No one other than you two know about my nipple piercing' I said, 'you can put that of you want'.
'Perfect, that is actually a really good idea' said the rep and wrote it down immediately.
'Does no one else know about it?' the fashion designer asked
'Err no' I replied 'it's not a subject that comes up very often, I don't really tell anyone'.
'You told us' she threw back
'Haha I showed you two'
'Well there is someone else in the hotel who knows' the Rep reminded me, which set both her and the fashion designer into fits of giggles. I did my best to ignore them.
I got the nipple piercing few years back. I don't really look like a girl who would have body piercings, and to be honest I quite like that. There have been cases of absolute, complete surprise amongst some people. I have always wanted a tattoo but my mum would go mad. That and I could never decide what I would want inked onto my body for the rest of my life.
Anyway, did the three of us know that when the best kept secrets were read out everyone would think that LiF had written it?
Of course we did.
Did we discus it?
Yes.
Did we think it was quite funny?
Yep.
So, we handed in our nominations and forgot about it in the crazy, continuous cleaning that made up shut down week. And I think we genuinely forgot all about it.
Until we were all sat around waiting for the awards to begin;
1. Best looking girl: the rep, she is gorgeous after all, the fashion designer came a close second.
2. Best looking boy: Beany, who does have stunning blue eyes.
3. Most appropriate nick name: Timone and Pumba, which was a rather cruel nick name for chef and his girlfriend H1.
4. Best boobs: the Rep again. Anyone who has ever met her will know why. It's obvious.
5. Biggest piss head: Miss P- who else? There really was no contest.
6. Best male skier/ boarder: chef
7. Best female skier/ boarder: the rep (it's getting a bit repetitive now)
8. Best front of house staff: the fashion designer. She's a swot like that.
9. Best back of house staff: Stefan the KP, who did the job of three people.
Then it was the best kept secret. Nothing hugely new came out. Miss M and DC getting it on in the hot tub with pizza, I hadn't known about I will admit. And I did not want to know about it.
I must admit when mine was read out last I timed my reaction beautifully.
The look of shock on my face was worthy of an Oscar, as I turned to LiF, who was sat right in front of me, and looked at him accusingly. Everyone else looked at him too as they exclaimed in surprise. It really did seem like a revelation to them all.
'It wasn't me!' he turned to me 'itwasntmecatithoneslywasntme' followed by 'I didn't tell anyone!'
I felt a little bit sorry for him. Everyone was had been convinced it was him. Bless him!
And I really should have been given an award for managing to keep a straight face. The rep and the fashion designer did bloody well too.
It didn't take long before people started questioning if it was true and he admit it was. Several people said I if they had known that I would have won the best boob competition (I was one of the nominees).
They never did announce which one won the award. But I think it was me.
I don't know if anyone knows it was us who set it up. We never admitted it till now. But I dont know who else they thought it might be.
There was a best kept secret that wasn't read out. Some of us knows what it said. It was probably for the bet that it wasn't read out.
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