Cleaning the bathroom.

Today I spent rather a long time in the bathroom of my mums house. My mum was bleaching my hair for the first time in ten years. Ten years ago I had purple hair which my mum turned orange. Ronald McDonald orange. You could see me for miles orange. Anyway it has taken ten years but today I handed over a bottle of blonde hair die and hoped for the best.

My mum agreed to do this on the condition I cleaned the bathroom. 'Ooh' I thought, 'I'm good at cleaning bathrooms'. I'v cleaned loads of bathrooms and I started with the bathroom mirror. This got me thinking about the number of bathrooms I have cleaned and the even larger number of bathrooms my HAs cleaned and I checked. A huge portion of my hobby was taken up with checking the cleanliness of bathrooms. This mainly involved me stroking all the surfaces, sink, floor, toilet to see if I could feel dirt, body fat, wee. It was a pretty grim job and I washed my hands a lot!

While checking the cleanliness of the bathrooms I always enjoyed looking at what expensive make up the guests had and what medication they were on. It was always much easier to handle guest complaints when you knew they had pile cream or diarrhoea tablets in their bathrooms. I would never ever rummage through their stuff and was always amazed at what they left out on display.

One day I was cleaning rooms with the fashion designer. I was cleaning the toilet. She was cleaning the bathroom. When she opened the bathroom door she commented aloud about the slightly funny smell, there was nothing unusual about this. When she when to change the bin she cried out in horrified alarm 'there's a huge poo in the bin'.

Of course there is only one reaction to hearing that phrase and that is to go and have a look at the huge poo in the bin.

And there was a huge poo in the bin. And someone had wrapped it up in toilet paper.
'Who on earth wraps their poo in toiled paper and then puts it in the bin?' the fashion designer quite rightly commented
'I think thats the worst smell I have ever smelt' I said.
At this point the fashion designer showed her stout heart and quickly emptied the bin and whipped away the poo.

I don't know what the owner of that poo had eaten but the smell hung around for a really long time and there was a lot of industrial strength air freshener used.

So when my mum returned to the bathroom ten minutes later she was a bit shocked that she didn't have a spotless bathroom. She just had a really really shiny, smear free mirror and a daughter who looked bizarrely pleased with herself!